Backlog: Pirates 3

(Updating note: This is an old review. Upon further viewing, I would change my assessment from "pretty good" to "mediocre, except the cool parts that have Barbossa in them")

Looking through rottentomatoes.com, other movie reviewing sources, and many of my friends, you'd think that there could only be two ways of thinking about Pirates 3. You could either love it, like a few of the reviewers and most of the people I saw the movie with, or you could hate it, like most of the reviewers, Jaron, my "serious" movie friends, and my mom whenever she gets around to watching it.

I neither loved nor loathed it. I thought it was pretty good.

Yes, it was the most confusing movie I have ever seen. Yes, it was rather bloated and/or convoluted at some points. Yes, some of the jokes fell flat. And yes, the first movie is on a whole different plane than the other two. But I still thought it was pretty good.

Well, with all those negatives, what did I like about the movie? Well, there were a few things.

First, the movie wasn’t Dead Man’s Chest. While DMC had some enjoyable moments and plenty of Jack, it seemed that the people responsible for the movie had decided that not only were jokes repeated almost verbatim from the last movie uproariously funny if included in the new offering, but the word “rum” was the single funniest thing ever to grace the green earth. This line of thought resulted in DMC being an attempt to recreate the first Pirates flick, only darker, longer and bigger. It also managed to be not nearly as clever, funny, or coherent, and it used the word “rum” about 40 times more than necessary.

At World’s End doesn’t do those things. It attempts to be its own movie, even though being its own movie still isn’t as entertaining as the first movie was. And yes, instead of the word “rum,” the writers decided that multiple Jacks were really, really funny. I disagree with that decision, although multiple Jacks certainly are better than an overuse of the word “rum.” In fact, I can only remember three rum jokes, two of which were original, and one that actually made me smile. This movie sought to be different from the first movie, and also go beyond the unresolved arbitrariness of the second movie. It succeeded on both of these points.

The second thing I liked about the movie was that it resolved. Going into the movie, I thought that much of the movie would remain unresolved or insufficiently explained. DMC introduced such a mammoth plot, one that would seem better served with two more movies instead of one. However, with an exception or two (why is the Kraken dead? I don’t get it), the plot was wrapped up, and usually in a pretty satisfying way. Granted, it all kind of falls together at the last minute, but sometimes that works, and I thought it did here.

The third thing I liked about the movie was Barbossa. Geoffrey Rush holds this movie together. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if he and Kiera Knightley got more screen time than Johnny Depp. Whenever the movie needs him, Barbossa is there to say “Argh!” or shout some delightfully overwrought or dramatic line with appropriate gusto. Out of the four main characters, Will is the only one who didn’t get his own movie. COTBP, for all of Depp’s antics (which, don’t get me wrong, are the best part of that movie), was about Elizabeth’s adventures with these strange piratey people. After the surprise success of the first movie, someone decided to make a movie centered around Jack trying to stick around this world when his time had run out. One of DMC’s taglines was “Captain Jack is back.” This movie is about Barbossa, and his quest to keep doing what he loves to do now that he’s not dead anymore. Even though I dislike bringing characters back to life, seeing Barbossa in this film reminded me of how missed he was in the second one. The scene where he marries Will and Elizabeth while fighting off about five of Jones’s henchmen was particularly good.

Finally, the fourth thing I liked about it was the special effects. Yes, I know, effects don’t make a movie, but when they are put to good use they certainly help (and they look spectacular). The effects here are much better than DMC. During DMC, about halfway through the movie, the effects (particularly of Davy Jones and crew) got to be incredibly cartoony. Here the henchmen and Jones are animated much better and are more entertaining to watch. One of the best scenes in the movie is when Jones starts crying and realizes his heart is on board. All in all, he was a much better character in this movie than the last (although I got really tired of him saying “Do you feel dead?” over and over). The effects help that. However, obviously, the best use of effects is in the maelstrom battle. That was really, REALLY cool.

Now, with all this praise, it almost sounds as if I thought it was a great movie. I don’t. It’s highly entertaining in parts, and all of those things I mentioned are there, but it is definitely a flawed movie. I got tired of Elizabeth around halfway through the last movie, and she became more tiresome here. Orlando Bloom, who actually was quite good in DMC, returned to his usual bad-acting form. Depp wasn’t as funny in this one, and the things I mentioned at the beginning were definitely there. But I still liked it.

So, it’s not a great movie. It’s not a ghastly movie. It’s a pretty good movie.